This is from James Taranto’s Best of The Web Today, on August 25, 2005 quoting reader Eddie Staples:

While I certainly sympathize with your attitude toward this “sport” implicit in the name you give it, I think the appropriate disdain can only be shown by calling it what it really is: communist football. Consider:

No one understands the rules.

Workers are prohibited from using the tools that would let them be more productive (hands).

From time to time petty bureaucrats (officials) interfere with play in such a way as to limit production.

Players, coaches, officials and fans are all fully involved (employed) and yet output is miniscule.

Any production is met by celebration all out of proportion to its objective value.

Followers are slavishly (religiously?) devoted to the system and their own brand of it and resort to violence at any criticism of either.